Rocket’s Darkest Day came on a cold day in February. Shut in, and maybe a little stir crazy, we were all feeling the effects of a long, cold winter. The days turned dark before we could get home from work, so we couldn’t enjoy much hiking and the weather was freezing, as it often does in February in Ohio. I, myself, had laryngitis; I could barely speak and when I did, not much came out. When I did manage to speak, my voice was crackly and unrecognizable. It was during this time that Rocket’s behavior was starting to increase again. His bullying of Frank was rising to a new level, and I found myself constantly scolding him, stepping between him and Frank, and probably complaining about him more than finding a solution to the problem.
I slowly began to realize that as long as Rocket was in control, everything was fine, but if Frank dare to move, approach the humans, or even look at Rocket, that Rocket took this as a challenge and would then react in an aggressive, bullying manner toward Frank. I reassured myself that I could manage his behavior because in all this time, Rocket never showed aggression towards any of the humans living in the house or that visited frequently. There were a couple occasions that Rocket would strike out at Frank and then we would intervene. These couple of episodes would always end with Rocket shaking then going off (or being put in a “safe” area) until he cooled down and recomposed himself.
Rocket’s favorite place in the house is on the couch. Often, he will sit on the back top of the couch to gain a higher elevation and vantage point in which to watch out the window. On one particular day during this time, Rocket’s actions were “off the chart”. He was restless, unsettled, moving from the couch to my lap and up to the back of the couch. If Frank moved, he would perk up and start to move toward him. I began to suspect that he was using his position high on the couch as a position of dominance and power over Frank, and maybe looking back, now I realize that he was trying to tell me something. By evening, he had finally settled down and was quiet. The room had grown dark, and we were all resting on the couch. I was still recovering from my cold and my laryngitis, so was probably not as aware and alert as I should have been. I reached up to Rocket in the darkness, petting him, I began to speak-my voice still cracking-and without warning, Rocket attacked me!
Words cannot not express my feelings adequately, but to say I was shocked would be an understatement. In the darkness, Rocket lunged at me, biting me in the face, and growling. As I moved away, I knew it was bad. Not only for me physically, but also because now Rocket had crossed a line that we likely could never come back from. I spent the rest of the evening at the emergency room having my wounds tended to. Really, I was lucky, I only needed a bit of glue to stop the bleeding and antibiotics for the likely infection that would follow. I had a follow up appointment with an eye doctor and was relieved that there was no damage to my eye or vision. The worst part of all of this was the conversations that I was having with my partner about what we should do with Rocket. We immediately thought we needed to put him down. We cried all night over that thought. By the next morning, we were contacted by our local health department who advised that we not put him down until a ten day wait period. If not for that wait period, Rocket’s story would have ended here.
My eye healed slowly over the next couple of weeks. Today, I have a small scar that most people would not notice. Rocket spent that time isolated in our basement. Fortunately, we have a finished basement, and it was a comfortable space for Rocket to wait out his 10-day period required by the health department. When Rocket was a puppy, we housed him in the basement when we left the house, so even today, he will go to the basement to nap or wait for us to return, so for him, it is a safe place, a place of comfort. Over those ten days, we had many conversations about whether we should put him down or find a home for him that could better care for a reactive dog. We had conversations with the emergency room doctor, our veterinarian, and many of our friends and family. I am so very thankful to each and every one of them who provided support, advice, and encouragement. Our vet, particularly, was instrumental in helping us through this very trying time.
During the ten-day wait period, we eventually realized that we could not go through with euthanasia. Our vet prescribed medication, and now Rocket is on a cocktail of meds which includes Trazadone, Zoloft, and Gabapentin. His routine changed immensely for many weeks. After his ten-day wait period ended, we slowly re-introduced him to Frank and allowed him to spend time with us through the day. At night, he was taken back to the basement where we would visit him before we went to bed. It was a very sad time for all of us. It took months to build back trust, and even now, I find myself more aware of his moods and his actions. I watch more closely for signs that his mood is changing and am more observant of things that could trigger him. I do not approach him in the dark while he is sleeping, nor do I reach out and touch him mindlessly as I once did.
Rocket was, no doubt, oblivious to what he had done wrong. I do believe he had a sense of needing to make up to me because he would approach me slowly and gently and would show such happiness when I responded to him. The medication regiment that he began was not without minor side effects; he is reluctant to go outside and is fearful of the grass and bugs now. We do notice that he seems more calmer, and our family and friends notice that, too. We have made great strides in controlling his reaction to other animals while we are hiking the trails. He will sit and watch from the car and house windows when he sees an animal now, but it helps when we acknowledge what he sees, otherwise, he will likely lunge at the window and bark.
While life has returned with some sense of normalcy during this time of Raising Rocket, I doubt that there will ever be a day that I don’t worry about how Rocket may react at some point to someone or something at any given time. Had I known what Rocket’s behavior would be like when we adopted him, the adoption would have not occurred. I never wanted a reactive dog, had never even imagined that I would end up with one. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, by the time we realized that Rocket would develop these behaviors, he was three years old. We spent three years bonding with him and enjoying him. Some people like to think that breed does not matter, that training is what matters and if you train a dog correctly and treat him right, that these kinds of things will never happen; I’m not sure I agree with that. Some people think that introducing a new dog to your family and other pets to see if they get along before you adopt will ensure a successful adoption; I’m not sure I agree with that either. In Rocket’s case, his behaviors did not develop until he was three years of age, long after we had committed to him, and long after we had built a strong bond with him…long after he became part of our family. What should one do in a situation such as ours? I am sure there are strong opinions on this. The answer for us was not an easy one, we truly struggled with it. But in the end, we chose to work through it. Writing this blog has helped me heal from the emotional pain and stress of making the right decision for us, for Rocket, and for our friends and family who share their lives with us. I have hope that this blog will bring light, and more importantly, conversation and consideration, to help others who find themselves dealing with a reactive dog. I ask you now to share your thoughts, regardless of what they are, to help others that may be reading this. Maybe it will help them make the right decision for them and for their pet who may be struggling with aggression and anxiety issues.